I am McDonald’s super sized french fries, I am the biggest bag of Lays at the grocery store, the sweetest donut from Tim Hortons. But I am, also, a big fat liar. I’m fucking lying to you right now. Messing with your already-messed-up head. I’m not as delicious as I look, I am fucking disgusting, and I’ll make you even fatter than you already are. Stop staring at me, walk away before I lie to you again, piggy.

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